i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
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