i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
