He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
