i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
