Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
