mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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