whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
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