My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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