wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
