jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
