My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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