Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
