Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize