he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
