so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
How does it feel to date your dad?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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