I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
