At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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