since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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