there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
