batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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