I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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