I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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