Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
