Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think I won the penis lottery.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
