oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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