whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
