So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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