Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
