what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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