it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
