I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Randomize
