I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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