Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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