May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
