No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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