SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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