If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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