I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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