You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
