Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
