So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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