I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
