Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
