Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
