the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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