YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
