hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
