just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
