she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
