My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
