If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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