I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
