You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
