help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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