that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
