you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
