Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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