great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
