She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
