I can tuck mytits in my pants
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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