i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Did I show you my penis last night?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
