yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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