I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
