I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
