omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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