he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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